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And that pretty much sums up my feelings about Chinatown. Just not quite the same without the Flavor.
Now, this place does have a few things going for it. First, and most importantly, they deliver, which is exactly what we were looking for last night. Second, the chicken wings. Though completely unseasoned, these things were perfectly fried resulting in a crispy on the outside, moist on the inside, blank canvas for whatever you want to put on them. Me? I drenched them with one of life's little secrets, House of Tsang's Mongolian Fire Oil, an incredible blend of chiles, garlic and ginger infused in oil, and I think there are few things that this goes better on than fried chicken complementing a bland Chinese meal.
Now let's get back to the meal.
Looks good, doesn't it? I thought so too, but looks can be deceiving, as I found out with the first bite. First let me say this though, the food wasn't bad, it just had no flavor, and certainly no spice. Two of the blandest Chinese dishes I've had in my life, and with a blindfold and inability to detect textures, I'd have trouble discerning it from the rice which came with it. It did however satisfy a few needs essential for us, and, frankly, we'll probably order from there again because of that. One, it filled a temporary void in our stomachs and allowed our bodies to convert the sugars, proteins and fats contained in it into energy, thereby performing essential life functions and sustaining life as we know it. Two, it gave us about twenty minutes before, and an hour afterwards, to really work on our ass grooves in our new couches, which still need some breaking in. Three, it gave me the opportunity to write a review on it this morning, and one that I felt I could really have some fun with.
Let's start with the Mongolian beef. We ordered the "Monoliagn Beef" that they had listed on their menu, figuring it was close enough to Mongolian beef, which My Lovely Wife Mrs. Gordo so dearly loves.
First, odd color for beef. In fact, I dished it up on my plate first thinking that it was the duck and just sliced oddly. (As a related side, this picture is actually listed in my files as "Chinatown Duck" as I couldn't easily identify it when saving.) Second, good texture, tender morsels of thinly sliced beef or beef substitute, with slightly cooked carrots still with a bit of tooth to them. Third, very little flavor, but nothing a little soy sauce and Sriracha couldn't take care of.
The duck.
I should have reconsidered after my initial conversation with the lady on the phone, when I ordered the Szechuan Spicy Duck and asked if was good, to which I got, ".................um........I guess between that and the Ma La Duck, I like that one better." Despite that ringing endorsement, I stuck with it.
First, the duck was well prepared, dark meat pulled from the bones in tender chunks, breast meat thickly sliced and holding onto some of the skin and fat that it needs to make it juicy, which it did. Second, this brown sauce was a bit darker than the one on the beef or beef substitute, but tasted exactly the same...bland. Again, nothing a little soy and Sriracha couldn't cure. Third, this was described on the menu as being steamed, deep fried, and then sauteed, and despite the perfection with which this was prepared, I think I could save the cook some time and say that throwing it into a searing hot wok as is with the rest of the stuff wouldn't result in anything too different, as there was no evidence of the deep fried crispiness that I expected. Fourth, the menu starred this as being spicy, and said it was sauteed in the chef's secret spicy sauce. Wrong on both counts. Not too dissimilar to the beef in flavor, each one satisfied the hunger, but left the tongue hanging out in the wind.
The eggrolls, at $2 a pop, were good but underwhelming both in size and flavor. Like the main dishes, not bad, but nothing to write home about.
As I said earlier, I'll most likely be giving this place another shot, primarily because of their delivery, but will make it a point to ask what I should get before ordering, giving them the opportunity to prove themselves as a more than one brown sauce type of place.
Summary
Atmosphere: TBD, we had it delivered
Food: Americanized Chinese
Dog Friendly: negative
Best Time to Go: dinner
What to Order for the First Timer: TBD
Crowd: TBD, delivery
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