Thai Kitchen - Austin, TX

My sincerest apologies in advance, I took pictures but can't for the life of me find them.  My descriptions will have to do on this one.  So close your eyes and imagine...

I've long been in search of a Thai restaurant that lives up to it's reputation as some of the hottest food on the planet.  The white suburbanite costume I've worn since 1976 masks my Southeast Asian soul's desire for the type of food that numbs the mouth completely and gives one the ability to map out the entire path of the digestive tract over the next hour or so as that sweet heat embarks on its long journey to the South Austin Wastewater Treatment plant and its ultimate home, the Earth from which it came from.  Combined with my midwestern dialect, it also evidently leads area Thai chefs to believe that I don't have the steel innards to handle what they can.

So when a friend recommended to me Thai Kitchen, with a menu that skips straight from a two-chile symbol rating on the normal menus to a five-chile symbol rating on the "Specialty Menu", and features such descriptive items such as Nuclear Shrimp, Crying Now, Never Never Again, Hurts So Good, Tiger Cry, Heat Treatment, and my personal favorite, Spontaneous Combustion, I figured this is my best chance.

My friend did warn me that he never actually eats there (the Bee Caves location at least), and recommended I use it only for carry-outs, and upon entry, I concur.  The place has the look and feel of a circa 1965 south Florida seafood market, which smells of the same, likely because of the large, uncapped fish tank anchoring the decor in the center of the dining area.  The walls and ceiling are a sickly lime green, certainly original paint which most certainly flaked off deadly lead when the pictures and paintings of great Thai leaders and religious figures were nailed into it in two foot increments.    That said, the owners were extremely nice, and the food was very good.

Let me back up though.  After my attendance of countless auto races over the past 27 years, before earplugs were invented up through this current period when earplugs are still referred to as "gay" by the Nascar faithful, my hearing has been reduced to something along the lines of that which little Randy must have had, suited up for the blizzard of the century for the harrowing walk to school with Ralphie, Flick and Schwartz.  My Lovely Wife Mrs. Gordo will attest.  This, along with an inability to decipher anything with an accent, the background noise of a beautiful Friday afternoon on the porch of Little Woodrow's, and an unnumbered online menu, made the telephone ordering process...well, difficult to say the least.

"Carry out, please."

"Yes.  What do you want?"

"I need one order of 'NOW PET NOW'"

"What?"

"NOW PET NOW"

"What number?"

"I have no idea."

(strange, fast noises)

"I don't know, it's called NOW PET NOW.  Do you have a word like NOW, spelled N-A-U?"

"N-A-U?  No.  (strange, fast noises)"

"Maybe N-U-A?"

"N-U-A!  PEET!   PEET!   PEET!"

"Ok, sure.  Peet.  One please."

"Bamboo.  Zucchini.  PEET!"

"Sure.  One N-U-A Peet N-U-A, one Crying Now, four vegetable eggrolls, one Ba Mi Num, and one Duck Duck Goose" (the latter not a menu item and clearly not recognizable sarcasm on the Indochina peninsula, it was met with a silence as awkward as any I've encountered).

Ordering process done, I headed to the fish market and picked up my nicely and securely packaged order, watched the incredible math skills of the patriarch, multiplying eggrolls and computing tax in his head with the speed and precision of only the upper echelon of beancounters, while the only other people in the place stood transfixed on the forty inch plasma perilously perched on the counter facing away from me and toward the spacious dining area.

So first, the Nua Pet Nua.  Stir-fried beef in Thai hot curry with bamboo strips, zucchini and Thai seasoning.  Not what I got.  I blame the language barrier as well as the fact that while Nua Pet Nua was on the online menu, it was Phat Pet Nua on the carryout menu I picked up while walking out.  What I actually got appears to have been Gang Pet Nua, which is the same, but instead of stir-fried, it's simmered in a coconut milk laced with those other ingredients.  Advertised as "it's very hot" and marked with the one-chile designation, my typical Thai experience prevailed.  Not at all.  Flavor was nice, but not strong enough, and I think some additional heat, which clearly ended up tempered by the coconut milk, would have made this a very a good dish.

Crying Now - five-chile designation with the additional warning, "These Dishes are for People Who Love Extremely Hot or Super Hot Food Only".  Now we're talking.  NOW, WE ARE TALKING!  Chicken simmered in a hot green curry, hot bird pepper, jalapeno, markroot and Thai seasoning.  BAM.  We did it.  Searing hot spice at the top end, but within range, of what I can tolerate.  Certain to take down 95% of its buyers, THIS is what I have been looking for, and THIS, I enjoyed every bite of.   Not just heat though, good flavor of green curry and of chiles.  Served over rice it needs just a little saltiness of soy to bring out its true potential, but this, this is great stuff.

The Ba Mi Num was an excellent soup, served for takeout with the noodles in a separate container, a flavorful chicken broth with the flavors of green onion and cilantro, the crunch of bean sprouts, and the meatiness of succulent duck, these things sang in perfect harmony.

Eggrolls, well, they're eggrolls.  Like the stereotype of their creators, they don't seem to travel well, but the flavor was nice, and anything that can be dipped in the stinging Chinese Hot Mustard is good by me.

All in all, a great takeout spot, and one that I'll try again.  Next up for me, the Just Say No...sliced grilled beef mixed with rice powder, seasoned well with lemon juice, mint leaves, and chile pepper.  And we'll try for that stir fry one more time....

Summary

Atmosphere:  1960's south Florida seafood market with the smell of fish since gone, uninviting, and vacant

Food:  Thai, very good at that.

Crowd:  All three of them were southeast Asian

When to Go:  Dinner, carryout only.

What to Order:  Give anything a go, but the Crying Now is a good start for heat lovers, and the Ba Mi Num a great soup.

Dog Friendly:  Trust me on this one.  No.

Chinatown - Austin, TX

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And that pretty much sums up my feelings about Chinatown.  Just not quite the same without the Flavor.

Now, this place does have a few things going for it.  First, and most importantly, they deliver, which is exactly what we were looking for last night.  Second, the chicken wings.  Though completely unseasoned, these things were perfectly fried resulting in a crispy on the outside, moist on the inside, blank canvas for whatever you want to put on them.  Me?  I drenched them with one of life's little secrets, House of Tsang's Mongolian Fire Oil, an incredible blend of chiles, garlic and ginger infused in oil, and I think there are few things that this goes better on than fried chicken complementing a bland Chinese meal.

Now let's get back to the meal.

Looks good, doesn't it?  I thought so too, but looks can be deceiving, as I found out with the first bite.  First let me say this though, the food wasn't bad, it just had no flavor, and certainly no spice.  Two of the blandest Chinese dishes I've had in my life, and with a blindfold and inability to detect textures, I'd have trouble discerning it from the rice which came with it.  It did however satisfy a few needs essential for us, and, frankly, we'll probably order from there again because of that.  One, it filled a temporary void in our stomachs and allowed our bodies to convert the sugars, proteins and fats contained in it into energy, thereby performing essential life functions and sustaining life as we know it.  Two, it gave us about twenty minutes before, and an hour afterwards, to really work on our ass grooves in our new couches, which still need some breaking in.  Three, it gave me the opportunity to write a review on it this morning, and one that I felt I could really have some fun with.

Let's start with the Mongolian beef.  We ordered the "Monoliagn Beef" that they had listed on their menu, figuring it was close enough to Mongolian beef, which My Lovely Wife Mrs. Gordo so dearly loves.  

  

First, odd color for beef.  In fact, I dished it up on my plate first thinking that it was the duck and just sliced oddly.  (As a related side, this picture is actually listed in my files as "Chinatown Duck" as I couldn't easily identify it when saving.)  Second, good texture, tender morsels of thinly sliced beef or beef substitute, with slightly cooked carrots still with a bit of tooth to them.  Third, very little flavor, but nothing a little soy sauce and Sriracha couldn't take care of.  

The duck.

I should have reconsidered after my initial conversation with the lady on the phone, when I ordered the Szechuan Spicy Duck and asked if was good, to which I got, ".................um........I guess between that and the Ma La Duck, I like that one better."  Despite that ringing endorsement, I stuck with it.  

First, the duck was well prepared, dark meat pulled from the bones in tender chunks, breast meat thickly sliced and holding onto some of the skin and fat that it needs to make it juicy, which it did.  Second, this brown sauce was a bit darker than the one on the beef or beef substitute, but tasted exactly the same...bland.  Again, nothing a little soy and Sriracha couldn't cure.  Third, this was described on the menu as being steamed, deep fried, and then sauteed, and despite the perfection with which this was prepared, I think I could save the cook some time and say that throwing it into a searing hot wok as is with the rest of the stuff wouldn't result in anything too different, as there was no evidence of the deep fried crispiness that I expected.  Fourth, the menu starred this as being spicy, and said it was sauteed in the chef's secret spicy sauce.  Wrong on both counts.  Not too dissimilar to the beef in flavor, each one satisfied the hunger, but left the tongue hanging out in the wind.  

The eggrolls, at $2 a pop, were good but underwhelming both in size and flavor.  Like the main dishes, not bad, but nothing to write home about. 

As I said earlier, I'll most likely be giving this place another shot, primarily because of their delivery, but will make it a point to ask what I should get before ordering, giving them the opportunity to prove themselves as a more than one brown sauce type of place.  

Summary

Atmosphere:  TBD, we had it delivered

Food:  Americanized Chinese

Dog Friendly:  negative

Best Time to Go:  dinner

What to Order for the First Timer:  TBD

Crowd:  TBD, delivery

Thai Away - Dallas, TX

Lunch with a friend today at the relatively new Thai Away in Preston Center in Dallas.  Didn't realize it's almost entirely a take-out and delivery place, and thereby had no tables except for two small ones outside, which was fine, because we snagged one of them.

Pretty straightforward Thai menu with some Chinese options.  Several types of noodles, fried rices and stir-fry, with your choice meat, as well as each type of Thai curry.

I went simple.  Spicy Basil Noodles.

Introduced myself as Ty Land, and told them to give me the heat from the homeland, and none of that American palate junk.  My bearded white friend behind the counter laughed, said they were the real deal, and that medium was very spicy and recommended.

I ordered extra extra hot.  We settled on extra hot.

Could have gone a couple of notches higher for sure, didn't even break a sweat.   So, the way I figure it, either the real stuff isn't nearly as hot as I imagine it to be, or my habanero eating habits have rendered me completely unable to measure heat.

Anyway, the noodles.  Tons of 'em.  I got mine with pork and they were very well done.  Vegetable mix was fresh, sauce and spice flavorful, and the vegetable egg roll I got on the side for an extra buck was also good, served with a small portion of Thai chili sauce.

Now, as for the place.  Don't let the fact that there are no or just a few tables out keep you from going there for lunch.  Whatever you see, just ask the guy if they've got any more tables, and one may just appear.  As for dinner, I'd recommend getting it carry out or delivered.  Good spot.  Give it a shot.

Summary

Atmosphere:  small storefront carry-out

Food:  Thai, Chinese

Dog Friendly:  no

When to Go:  lunch, carry-out or delivery for dinner

Crowd:  local business

What to Order for the First Timer:  I recommend the spicy basil noodles

Rounders Pizza - Austin, TX

Alright, my second Rounders experience, which included different toppings and popping inside has solidified it as one of my go-to pizza joints.  It's good.  As follow up to my last review of this place, I just want to tell you to not be bashful about ordering more than you may be able to eat, because this pizza reheats incredibly in the oven, with a crust that has the crunch and sturdiness of one fresh out of the pizza oven.

So this time I decided rather than get delivery, I'd go over there and pick it up so I could check the place out, since I'd seen the outside seating, but had no idea what the inside held.  Well it was more than I expected, with the only bit of bad news being that there wasn't a bar to sit at, which would make this place perfect.  Now, as to what it does have.  Donkey Kong, Ms. Pac-Man, Galaga, on the left as you walk in the door.  Hell I nearly didn't make it past all this, and the only thing that saved my pizza from sitting for hours was my limited supply of quarters.  The place is nice inside and reminds me a little bit of a pizza joint of old.  Small, choppy rooms, with black walls and low lighting, and several beers on tap.  It also has several well positioned and large flat screens which on this day were garnering the attention of a few Kentucky fans.

As I mentioned, I opted for different toppings this time, going with pepperoni, jalapenos, and banana peppers.  To my pleasant surprise, the jalapenos were fresh, and not pickled, which actually paired really well with the pickled banana peppers.  Pepperoni was great, and the toppings in general were plentiful.  The crust didn't disappoint...again this is what I'll call a classic American crust, similar in thickness to a standard Papa Johns crust, but much better done with a nice crunch on every bite.  I'll be back to this place again and again, both there and take out.  I worry this place, several blocks west of Lamar on 6th, suffers from a locational problem, as it becomes a destination spot as opposed to a stop in spot, but I urge you to give it a shot and particularly use it for carry out and delivery over the chains, as you would Home Slice or any of the other good local spots around town.  The crust here holds up better on the go than any place around.

Summary

Atmosphere:  pizza joint, outdoor seating but no bar seating, though plenty of big screens inside, good for groups, good for families, good for catching the game, good for a date

Food:  classic American pizza

Dog Friendly:  yes, outside

When to Go:  carry out, delivery, dinner

Crowd:  mixed

What to Order for the First Timer:  pizza with jalapenos and whatever else you want

Rounders Pizza - Austin, TX

After a failed attempt at sushi and then dinner in general (prior post), we opted for pizza delivery and called Rounders, a neighborhood spot which I've wanted to give a shot, and which thankfully (1) was open, and (2) delivered.  

Shot from the hip without a menu, and asked if they could make us a bacon and onion pizza.  They could.  (insert holy choir music here)

Came to our door piping hot within 30 minutes, and we dove in.  Here's how I'll describe it.  Classic American pizza...not New York, not Chicago, not Connecticut, not Californian, just American.  The crust is of the Papa John's variety, not thin, not thick, but is done with much better care than any of the mass delivery companies.  Crisp with a taste of the grill on the outside, soft on the inside, it was a perfect vehicle for the toppings and didn't lose any of its structure.  Classic pizza sauce, standard mozzarella, half moons of red onion and strips of bacon.  It satisfied.  Perfectly cooked, but I wish that the toppings would have provided more flavor.  The onions were used a little sparingly to make an impact, and the bacon unfortunately was largely flavorless, which was a disappointment for my expectations of a smoky pork flavor oozing fat to infuse the whole pie.  

All that said, I'll be back.  I'll take it as delivery any day over any of the masses, and it's down the street so I'd still love to try it in its environment with a cold one in hand.  It was a really good, classic American pizza, just didn't jump out of the box with a wow as something unique.  

Summary

Atmosphere:  n/a, delivery

Food:  pizza

Dog Friendly:  yep, on the porch

When to Go:  lunch, dinner, late

Crowd:  n/a, delivery

What to Order as a First Timer:  pick your poison