Colibri Cuisine - Austin, TX

First official day of the South by Southwest music portion, so I got some things out of the way in the morning and then decided to wander down 6th Street, sample some trailer food and catch some shows.

As it relates to the food, I shouldn't have.

First stop, Colibri Cuisine,

A place I've walked by numerous times and have always wondered about.  I should have kept wondering, but I guess it's good to figure out the bad places as well as the good to keep you from making future mistakes.

So this place seemed to be a Mexican stand, but the names of a few of the items and the pictures of tree frogs and tropical birds on the trailer led me to believe that it might be something more.

It wasn't.

It's partially my own fault, and I should have kept on walking when I noticed the only other person in the vicinity of the thing, WHICH by the way was within 100 yards of four or five bars packed with people watching live music, was one guy sitting down at one of the tables. He wasn't even EATING, but was just writing some stuff in a notebook.  Guessing he wasn't doing the books for this place either, because even I can do basic addition and subtraction with single digit numbers.

Basically, you can get nachos, quesadillas, or tacos with beef fajita meat or chicken fajita meat.  To call it steak, as they did, is incredibly decieving...i before e, except after c, crap...deceiving.

I asked what the best thing on the menu was and was told immediately steak quesadillas, so I ordered it.  With the conviction with which the guy said it, and the speed at which he did so, it had to be good, right?  Wrong.  The picture on the menu showed two beautiful wedges of quesadilla overflowing with oozing cheese and nice looking pieces of char-grilled steak, nestled among tortilla chips and a small serving of homemade salsa.  Here's how that translates:

Yeah.  $6.

Asked for some sour cream.  Nope.

The chips and salsa from the picture?  Extra.

Soggy and flavorless throughout, I also ordered it with their Bevo "Sancha" sauce, advertised with three cartoon chili peppers, seemingly to be much more spicy than their standard "Sexy" Salsa with just one.  AND, when I ordered it with that scalding hot three chili pepper salsa, the guy smirked and said, "OH YEAH!"  I don't know what the hell that sauce was, but it sure as hell wasn't hot, I know that.  It had absolutely zero spice, and tasted more like a pizza sauce than anything.  Actually, that's pretty much what this tasted like was a crappy piece of pizza.  Why I ate the second piece I don't know.  Oh, wait yes I do, because I'm fat.  Now, I can see stopping by this place if it was three in the morning, I was blackout drunk, and it was next to four other trailers with lines 20 deep, but I'd still negotiate price, and am certain that the best part of the meal would be not remembering it.

Anyway, this reminds me a lot of the panini craze a few years back, which drove me absolutely nuts.  Any Tom, Dick or Harry with a George Foreman grill thought he could make and sell "authentic Italian paninis", but they weren't even close.

I applaud them for giving it a go, but if you're going to compete on the Mexican food level down here, you'd damn well better know what you're doing and do it right.  No way this place makes it, particularly given the location for this quality of food.

Summary

Atmosphere:  food truck, a couple of tables to eat at

Food:  n/a

Dog Friendly:  yep

When to Go:  never

Crowd:  an accountant

What to Order for the First Timer:  napkins and a spork