Rattlesnake Bar - Dallas, TX

Met a good friend last night for a drink...okay several...and dinner at the bar at the Ritz Carlton last night.  Not my typical venue or even type of place I like to go, but it is one of the most fantastic places in Dallas to people watch, and last night it didn't disappoint.

What's interesting about this place is the range of clientele that frequent it.  Last night we saw nametagged conventioneers, Eminem lookalikes/wannabes, Ladies of the Night, 60 year old female trollers, hot thirtysomethings, sleazy businessmen, a few normal couples, and The Most Interesting Man In The World's Italian Cousin with absolutely the worst hairpiece I've ever seen.  I've spent an hour on the web today trying to find a picture of this guy that I could post, but it's probably a good thing I didn't.  I did however find a picture of a hairpiece which no joke is unbelievably close to exactly what TMIMITWIC's looked like, with a few differences which I'll discuss after I show you...THIS!

Concentrate on the hair, this poor sap looks nothing like our friend in the bar, but the way the hair sits, and the color, are spot on.  Add a dose of Lisa McDowell's boyfriend Darryl and let your sooooouuuulllllll gloooooooowwwww...

...and you've got the hair pictured perfectly.  So this sixty year old had an incredible jet black jheri curled rug perched on what looked like half a head of hair.  Straight, silver hair came out of it down to the right ear, but between the left ear and the dream, absolutely nothing.  He had a NYC Italian look to him and was wearing yellow aviators exactly like this

which means he either came directly from the gun range, or he really is THE MOST INTERESTING MAN IN THE WORLD'S ITALIAN COUSIN.

Anyway, I've spent too much time on him, but he was worth talking about.  Now, back to the bar.  Great atmosphere for people watching if you can afford it.  The drinks are EXPENSIVE, as you might expect, but the bar food, while pricey, is not too bad and is certainly a better bang for the buck.  The seating is a bit funky inside, unless you secure a seat at the bar, of which there are ten or so, and ranges from normal height tables and chairs out in the lobby, which isn't a fun place to sit, to couches, low chairs and coffee tables in the bar area, which are good places to lounge with a drink but not an ideal spot to chow down.  There's also a really nice outdoor area and bar, technically called something different but all part of the same F&B operation, which has nice blend of regular tables and chairs as well as the couches, but not very good bar seating, which is fine though because the rest of the stuff works.

Back to inside, you have the choice of ordering from the bar menu or the regular menu for Fearing's.  We opted for the far more affordable bar menu which contained about eight items ranging from appetizer/sharing items like lobster nachos, seven layer dip, and smoked chicken and mango quesadillas to a couple of items that feel more like a meal, like the burger and fries and buffalo tacos.

We split the quesadillas, which were excellent, and I opted to give the Mesquite Grilled Burger a shot (and I apologize for not taking a picture, this burger looked like it was prepared for a menu photo shoot).  I ordered it medium rare, and was given a choice of several cheeses.  After initially calling in the blue cheese, I audibled to American, to see exactly how Dean did preparing the most classic of American dishes.  He did a damn good job.   It was a thick patty which I'd say was pressing a half pound, grilled perfectly, topped with a quality American cheese, and set on what I think was a homemade egg bun, soft but sturdy, and very tasty.  The "fixins" (we're in Texas now) were homemade dill pickle rounds, which were Claussen-like in their flavor, texture, sharpness, and snap, two slices of every-layer-of-the-onion onion, two of the reddest, ripest, meatiest tomato slices I've ever seen, and an inch thick chunk of chilled iceberg lettuce torn straight off the head what must have been right before they put it on the plate.  Put all together, this sandwich was a good six inches tall, and could be pressed to about three.  Everything meshed perfectly, keeping their temperatures and textures, making this one of the very best classic American cheeseburgers I've ever had.  I love too that in one of the most highly regarded restaurants in the country, they advertise the fries that come with it as Classic McDonald's Style French Fries, which is the same way that I describe fries of that size and texture.  They were spot on too, tasty like McDonald's but with a slightly more aggressive potato flavor and less of a grease flavor.

Very, very good meal, and at $16, expensive for a burger, but filling, and worth every penny for dinner.

Summary

Atmosphere:  high class, expensive hotel/restaurant bar, great for a drink after work, incredible for people watching, great spot for the business traveler to belly up, no televisions though so don't expect to catch the game, good spot to meet new people

Food:  fine dining from Fearing's or classic upscale bar food

Dog Friendly:  no

When to Go:  happy hour, late

Crowd:  oh man, here we go...generally older, businessmen, sleazeballs, suburban ganstas, celebrities, hotchicks, chicks, pumas, cougars, and dragons (see below), ladies of the night, really old men, gun-toting italian rug wearers, see and be seen crowd

What to Get for the First Timer:  Mesquite Grilled Burger



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